Our story is a story of love, struggle, heartache, and God’s redeeming grace and mercy. Looking back over the story of our lives, there have been many important lessons and turning points to help us get to where we are now. But we know full well that without the Lord’s help, there is no way Janet and I would be together today and enjoying this wonderful marriage together.
We often try to summarize our story by saying we were near divorce four times in our first nineteen years of marriage. Then one time a lady in one of our marriage classes ask the question, “when you say four times near divorce, what exactly does that mean?” And it was then that we started to realize that we have to be a little clearer about what four times near divorce means.
So what we are saying is this, there were four major events in our marriage where we were clearly on our way to divorce. Although each event was unique in its own way they all had a few things in common.
1) To start with, each time it was Janet who reached an end of putting up with the marriage we were struggling with and she made up her mind that she wanted a divorce. Our marriage was difficult right from the start. We were often struggling financially and the pressures of just trying to work and pay bills would often become more than we could bear, especially for me.
Then as our children got older we were often at odds with each other over the way we were raising them. We were both stubborn and unskilled in how to communicate without yelling and losing our tempers. And after a while, the hostility in our home become more than she could bear.
She never really wanted our marriage to end in divorce, but she was also determined not to stay miserable for the rest of her life the way she watched her grandparents live in their marriage. Also, for the longest time, she struggled with issues from her childhood, including sexual abuse, early childhood abandonment, and dysfunctional role models. All she knew was she wanted a better life, she wanted to feel safe and to feel loved.
3) And then somehow through my deep desire to be married for life, each time I would end up fighting to save our marriage. Every time we went through one of these events, I learned some things about what not to do during our separation, especially including the way I handle the first time.
Then over the course of time and going through these events I learned how to fight for our marriage the way God wanted me to. I also learned some valuable lessons on how to truly love my wife the way Christ loves the church. And I learned valuable lessons about forgiveness, empathy, and hope.
Then as all of those lessons come together that fourth and final time, we began to see just how amazing God’s love and grace really is. Just when we thought we had reached the end of possibility, the Lord showed up and let us know there is nothing impossible for Him.
We had reached our end, after nineteen years of marriage and on the brink of divorce for the fourth time, I reasoned to myself that there was no chance to put this marriage back together. But the one thing the Lord would not let me let go of was hope. Hope was what Janet had given up on, but as the Lord worked healing into her life, hope began to come alive again for her.
Then with nothing but prayer and hope, we went through a year and a half journey of uncertainty. There were times we were breaking up and then there were times she was willing to give us a chance. Then finally, after those 18 months, she knew without a doubt that she wanted us to stay together. In the process of it all, we discovered while I thought I was fighting to save our marriage, together we were actually rebuilding it. And unlike the first three times we came close to divorce, this time our marriage was built the way God had intended it to be all along.
We have now been married for more than thirty-five years and have been able to enjoy a good marriage. A marriage that keeps growing into what God had always wanted us to have. His design is for two people to come together and become one. The lessons we learn through the difficult process the Lord brought us through have become the foundation for everything we believe.
Now we are very humbled to be able to serve the Lord in such a way that we can help other couples follow the Lord on their own personal journey toward healing and oneness. It is our conviction that marriage is a very high priority in the sight of God and that even the most impossible situation can become possible with His help.
For more of our story check out these posts.
For information on how we can help and for prayer, please contact us by:
- Comment here on this site.
- By reaching us on Facebook at facebook/redeemingmarriages
- By reaching us on Twitter @redeemmarriages
- By email. Fill out the form below.
I know the Lord is going to bless many marriages with healing through your testimony. I thank God for your honesty and your willingness to share yourselves. Go, Jack & Janet!!
Glory to the Lord. He gave you boldness and strength to share your lives with the world. We have hope in the lord amen. Thank you for sharing! Gods plans are just like himself, almighty!
Thank you Skie. And yes, Glory to the Lord!!
I love your testimony of how the Lord restored your marriage. I am a witness because he did it in my marriage as well. You ministry is so need in this day. May God continue to bless you.
Thank you lbaruc for your comment. I’m glad to hear you also have a testimony of what God can do. May God bless you and the work you are doing as well.
Jack
Thanks for these words. My wife and I are going through a tough time right now. We both still love each other, but I haven’t been loving the way God intended and she’s lost hope. I am working and praying daily to be the way God has shown me to be.
Thanks for your comment Jeff. We will keep you and your wife in our prayers. We know the two of you must be hurting right now, but we are certain that if you work through this time, you will not regret it. This is the message we have committed our lives to. We believe so strongly that most marriages can be saved and become everything a couple wants it to be.
God bless,
Jack
Just saw your site on anothers page.
My wife left in July and is with another man. We both are Christians and I am very sad for her and am praying God will heal her heart and save her and bring her home. Hope to learn more about your ministry
Gordon, I’m sorry to hear about what your going through. I hope your wife does come back home and the two of you are able to let the Lord heal your marriage. Your in a difficult place and there is no promise that this will work out if you hang on. But I do agree and appreciate your commitment and resolve to hang on to your hope.
I pray the Lord keeps you strong and encouraged,
Jack
I know what God can do for a broken marriage. I have watch this remarkable change in the two of you. God is so good..”nothing is impossible for God..” I love you both, so proud ! Mom
Powerful ministry!!!! God is healing many through the healing miracle of your testimony!!! God bless! Cassandra’s Marriage Mints
Janet, Thank you for your kindness,your words of wisdom and just for listening….you are an amazing lady….I hope to better myself as you & Jack have soon, Love ya
Hello, do you ever give personal advice or encouragement?
tsunshine1977@yahoo.com
thanks
It’s been five months,since my wife of 16 years left me and our 13 yr old daughter. Everyday I pray for a miracle. she’s about to move in with another man.,but I continue to pray,for me and my daughter,that my wife will come back home. Please for me and daughter and my wife.
My husband has left and stopped communicating with me at all. He told me that he is getting a divorce. I keep on praying and the Lord continues to put hope in my heart. Please pray for me to have strength, courage, faith, and trust in the Lord. Please pray for my husband, that he allows God to meet him where he needs Him most. Please pray that I trust God’s will even if it is not what I want. I need a miracle! I do not want to lose my marriage. I still love my husband. Thank you.
I reached a point when I truly felt alone and empty…trying so hard in marriage but husband seems uninterested lost even self esteem n had suicidal thoughts crossing my mind to escape the pain n rejection but wen I remember my son I hang in thea for I still believe deep down that God loves me
Not sure what I need to say, except I need GOD. Not just for my marriage, but myself. My husband and I have been separated since June. He left (no other woman involved), we’ve tried to reconcile, it goes good for a few weeks, then we’re back to square one. He told me earlier in week he wants a divorce…… I’m not ready to give my marriage over to Satan, but I feel I’m losing a battle that I’m not worthy of winning.
Please pray for my marriage. My wife has filed divorce papers. She told me she’s met someone for coffee. I’m 100% sure she’s having an affair. I’ve accepted God into my heart and believe that I can be used by Him to reach her. I believe there is something spiritual going on and I’m praying as hard and as much as I can for Him to help me. I need a miracle. I know God will be able to deliver.
Are there any stories of hope for long term separation where the spouse is a non-believer ? My husband left fourteen months ago and doesn’t believe God is relevant for him and is much more interested in what he wants to do and what he wants to get. I want to redeem my marriage but it feels a very one-sided effort as he is far away and wants no reconciliation. Please pray that through God’s work we become a story of hope for others in a similar situation.
Thank you for your site and testimony. It is hard to be a stander. I continue to look for inspiration to help me as I seek the Lord to resurrect my marriage. I know the old marriage is dead. A new one must be built. Just like Jesus had to be in the tomb for 3 days, we have to submit to the darkness and the death of the old me, the old him, and the old marriage so we can rise to a new marriage truly built as Christ would have it be.
I am grateful for those like you who shine the light in the world. Especially now as the world is so dark with Covid, civil unrest, the leaders who would divide rather than unite us… and so many marriages and families struggling. I pray not only for my husband, but the other woman as she has a family as well. The darkness that will come if we allow this to continue and allow convenant marriages to die will affect our kids and the generations after. I will stand. That’s all I can do. That’s what I know God wants and what my heart is calling me to do.
Praying for you.
A+ Reality check truth comment Maria. Get this book by Dr. Doug Weiss / Married and alone
It really has helped me in the midst of my marriage mess challenge. Praying for you sister.
1Corinthians 7:1-11/ heavy focus on 3 4 5 &10 11
Dwight
Beyond awesome site and wonderful reality truth encouragement. I Googled my current marriage mess challenge and this was the first site I chose to check out. I truly believe that the Holy Spirit wanted me to come here. A+ choice HS
Dwight / Married and alone since 2015 Married in 1998