Dating your spouse should be a high priority in your marriage. If you don’t want to neglect your marriage then don’t neglect to date your spouse. Too often couples only think of dating as something they do before marriage. But when they think that way they lose out on this valuable resource for reconnecting with their spouse. I know that’s the way it was in our experience.
This Valentine’s Day, Janet and I plan to go on a date for the evening. This will be our 40th Valentine’s date. It’s a little extra special because it’s also the anniversary of our first date. Although we do not plan to go to the drive-in movies again, we do plan to do something special.
But the truth is, we don’t just date on Valentine’s Day, our birthdays, or our wedding anniversary. No, we try to make dating a regular part of our life. We don’t go out to dinner once a week as some do, but we do go when we can.
And besides going out, we sometimes have date nights at home with a nice dinner and a movie. We also like to get away for a ride around the countryside. And when weather permits we like to go hiking or just walking through the neighborhood or on some nature trail.
Because the mistake I made during our years of marriage struggle was thinking that if I didn’t have money for a dinner date or weekend getaway then I didn’t see any other way for us to get time alone. And by thinking that way I neglected our relationship and our marriage deteriorated. I honestly believe our marriage could have avoided a lot of trouble if I would have just made some simple efforts to keep our dating alive.
5 reasons why dating is so important?
It can create the right environment for rekindling romance.
Passion in marriage is very important. Of course, it is not the only thing that is important. But passion is certainly an area in a marriage that needs to be healthy and growing. And any lack of passion should never be excused as something that passes after you’re married a few years.
It can give an opportunity for better communication.
Good communication requires trust and attention. The trust part is something you develop over time as you get more and more comfortable with being vulnerable with each other. But the attention part of communication can be there immediately by simply pulling away from all other distractions. That is why dating is good for communication, as long as you don’t let social media on your smartphones get in your way.
It can build a better friendship.
Friendship always involves common interests. So the more you have dating experiences that involve activities or other people the two of you enjoy the better friendship you can build out of it.
It sends the right message to each other.
One of the critical areas of marriage that can be so easily overlooked is the area of making each other feel valuable. All of us have a need to feel like our life matters and what we do for others is noticed and appreciated. So when you take time to get ready and to set aside important amounts of your time in order to be with your spouse, you’re sending your spouse a message. You’re telling her that she is important to you and that you appreciate her.
It sends the right message to your children.
When you have children in the home it can be so tempting to always make your life revolve around them. It starts out that way right from the moment your children are born and before you know it your whole identity is wrapped up in being good parents. But too many people fail to realize that the best gift you can ever give your children is a healthy and strong marriage. So even if the children suffer some separation anxiety when you go out on dates, it will be good for them to know that your marriage is actually a very high priority to you.
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