Is there anyone praying for you? When you’re going through the worst battle of your life, is there anyone who is helping you hold it together? When you’re seeking for some answers and you need to know the will of God. Who can you count on to take your situation before the Lord?
I mean it is great to have others around you who love you and are willing to give you advice. But what should matter the most is having people around you who are actually praying for you. Because at the end of the day, getting advice is good and is sometimes needed.
But there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone. Knowing there are other people who have your back. And they are faithfully sending out prayers to the Lord on your behalf.
It is one of those precious treasures that will stay with you for the rest of your life. When you look back at your most difficult days and you remember the ones who stood with you. The ones who were actually helping you make it because of the prayers they prayed.
Like right now as I write this, I’m choking back the tears as I think of someone who helped me. More than I can ever know, simply by bringing my life and marriage problem before God. My uncle Dan who passed away almost three years ago was that someone for me. I knew without a doubt he was praying for me throughout the marriage crisis I faced.
Many times I went to him to talk about what I was going through. I knew his advice and encouragement was sincere and unbiased. He was in his third marriage. And after two failed marriages, he was able to share from a deep well of experience and wisdom. Read more
When the difficulty in the marriage is because of abusive behavior, personal safety must come before the marriage.
We love to encourage husbands and wives who struggle with difficult marriages. We believe commitment, hope, and perseverance go a long way in helping couples get past their difficult season. But when there’s abuse, we have to have a different conversation.
There is a serious issue of abuse that is facing far too many marriages today. This issue should never be ignored or overlooked, by the men and women who find themselves in an abusive relationship, nor by the rest of us who have a voice to speak out against it.
In this final post of this series on difficult marriage, I want to help men and women recognize when Difficult Marriage is an Abusive Marriage. Because, when this is the case, the approach to dealing with the marriage crisis must change.
Sometimes marriage difficulty can be so great all you can think about is running away. On one hand you don’t want to give up on your marriage, but on the other you just don’t know how much you can bear.
Honestly, during the difficult times of my own marriage there were many times I felt like giving up. Yes, I was committed for life and I did stand for my marriage when we were near divorce. But the truth is, it was very difficult and there were many times I wanted to give up.
There were times when we were not on the verge of breaking up and yet still the struggle to have a happy marriage was more than I could handle sometimes. Then there were times when I had to fight to save our marriage while at the same time I battled against feelings of hopelessness and many times thought the best thing for me to do would be to move on. And there were times when I felt so much anger and resentment I really didn’t care if my marriage survived or not. Read more
You know you would like to have a marriage you have always dreamed of having but somewhere along the way the challenges of life has got into your marriage. And now you find yourself not knowing how to improve your difficult marriage.
On our previous post, Why Do You Settle For a Difficult Marriage, I gave a challenge for anyone who felt stuck with no intention of doing anything about the condition of their marriage. I talked about how marriage was designed by God to be place of “One Flesh” unity and that God esteems marriage in such high regard that He even chose marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.
And as I mentioned in my challenge, “if marriage has been given the responsibility from God to represent what Christ relationship with us the Church should look like, shouldn’t we hold marriage to the same standard of honor and glory that God has already placed on it.”
But maybe you’re someone from my last post who answered Read more
A difficult marriage is a hard thing to endure. The stress of bickering and division never seems to end. Sometimes there may be moments of hope because love and peace seemed to be restored. But that hope quickly fades as another day presents another challenge and with the challenge husband and wife fall right back into their ruts of strife, anger, hurt, and confusion. And sadly too many men and women who have this type of marriage have no idea they don’t have to settle for it.
For 19 years I was willing to settle for a difficult marriage. For the most part I was always blind to how troubled my marriage was. I knew it was normal for couples to argue and have disagreements so I thought what was going on in my marriage was just as normal as anyone else’s. I was committed to being married for life even if I didn’t like the condition of my marriage. Read more
“If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:25
Marriage is a wonderful gift from God. It’s the union of two unique individuals blending their lives together to become as the bible says, “one flesh.” This unity does not happen when husbands and wives become the same in every way possible. True unity in marriage is established and held together when couples celebrate what they share in common while at the same time learn to accept and embrace each other’s differences. Couples that strive to become “one flesh” know there is beauty and strength in both their sameness and in their differences.
But there is something seriously wrong in a marriage the moment a couple begins allowing their differences to become a place of division. When their differences become a place of contention and dispute their marriage is put in serious jeopardy. Because when division is accepted and tolerated in their relationship they open up the door for greater trouble in their marriage.
Is the marriage crisis you’re dealing with breaking your heart? Do you feel like your world is shattered and crumbling all around you? And does it make you question how much you can stand or how long can you endure? If your answers are yes, I know how you feel.
Because fighting to save a marriage is one of the toughest ordeals a person can ever experience. The heartache and pain can be so tormenting that it makes it hard to function in any other area of life. And there are times when the pain is so hard to bear, all a person can do is shut it off by staying busy with other areas of life. Either way it seems like life is just a blur and all you can do is trying to survive it.
But I have another question for you, a question I believe that can make a huge difference in how you get through this experience.
Confronting your spouse about an important issue that must be addressed is a very difficult thing to do. And if it is not done properly and with love the results can take your marriage in the wrong direction. But when it is done right it will add a greater dimension of intimacy in your marriage.
On our post, How Do You Handle Constructive Criticism? I talked about the importance of handling constructive criticism well and the value it can add to your marriage. On this post I want to be very specific about how to confront your spouse without causing more damage to your relationship.
It is not easy to receive criticism even when it is constructive, especially when it comes from your spouse, the one you want nothing less than absolute acceptance and approval from. And it is not easy to give constructive criticism to your spouse without hurting your spouse’s feelings and coming across as disapproving and rejecting. But knowing how to give and receive constructive criticism is desperately needed for a marriage to grow in oneness as God has intended.
The struggle with feeling critical toward one another is very real in marriage, I don’t think anyone is immune from it. So the challenge we all face is knowing how to guard against allowing criticism to be used in a negative way that is hurtful and harmful to our marriage. While at the same time allowing constructive criticism to be used in a way that promotes growth and encouragement.