Believing your marriage can be healed is tough sometimes. The separation between you and your spouse is so far apart it feels hopeless to close the gap. You can’t undo all the things that went wrong. You can’t undo your history. And so now you look at your situation and all you see is a mountain that feels impossible to climb.
I’ve been there and I know how it feels to want with all my heart to see my marriage healed. While at the same time I had to face a very tough situation that made what I was hoping for appear impossible. But the one thing that kept me from being overwhelmed and discouraged was I dared to believe God and what His word teaches me.
You see, I believe God has a completely different view of your situation than what you’re capable of seeing right now. Jesus made this same distinction between what we see and what God sees when He said these words.
So could it be that God wants you to look beyond your circumstances and what you feel is impossible and look to Him instead? Could it be that He wants you to put your belief in Him and not what you can see? Is it possible, God wants you to have faith that your marriage can be healed?
God’s word teaches us over and over again how important faith is to Him.
- The just shall live by faith and not by sight….(2 Corinthians 5:7)
- Without faith it is impossible to please God….(Hebrews 11:6)
- It was Abraham’s faith that was counted as righteousness before God…..(Romans 4:9)
Faith is a powerful thing. With faith, you can see the mountains of impossibilities become possible. But without faith, you are left with the tyranny of circumstances dictating everything around you.
With God, your marriage can be healed
Faith is not about believing God can save your marriage and then wondering if He will. As if for some reason God chooses to step in and save some marriages and then others He chooses to stand by and watch the destruction of a family take place. No, God by nature is a healer, restorer, and a redeemer. He would have to change who He is if He just picked to save some marriages while doing nothing to save others.
But even when God wants to save a marriage there is more to it than that. Because He will not force you or your spouse to go against your own will. He has given you the freedom to choose if you will listen to Him and obey His instructions. And He has given your spouse the same freedom. So if you or your spouse refuse to let God heal your marriage He will honor your freedom of choice.
Choose faith
So, why would you believe your marriage can be healed if your spouse’s will can stop it? Because the rewards for allowing God to stretch your faith and grow your character are far more than you can ever imagine. I firmly believe that no matter what happens, your choice to believe God in this situation is a Win, Win Proposition.
I know in my own testimony I was fully aware that my wive’s will could keep me from receiving what I was believing for. But I refused to let that stop me. I knew if I refused to take this stand of faith then our marriage restoration had zero chance. So I had to have faith. I had to believe.
Now, having faith for your marriage restoration will require you to make some major decisions. This will be a journey of decisions if you will. A journey where each decision builds on top of the previous one.
1st Decision:
Make up your mind right now if you believe this is God’s will or not. There is no point in you wrestling with believing for your marriage restoration if you don’t know for sure if it is God’s will or not. The battle can be too tough and the journey can be too long for you to endure if you’re wavering on knowing if this fight of faith is His will or not.
His will is not that difficult to know. Search the scripture. His word is full of His instructions. Pray and ask Him what He wants you to do. God does not play a guessing game with you concerning His will. He wants you to know it and He wants you to follow it.
2nd Decision:
Eliminate impossible: Get that word out of your thinking and out of your vocabulary. I know there some situations that look much more difficult than others, but I don’t care how difficult it looks. I’ll say this over and over until you get sick of hearing it from me. Your circumstances have nothing to do with what you believe. Your belief should be based on who God is and how wondrous His works are and not what you see in front of you.
Remember, He is the one that brings dead things back to life. Creates new worlds out of nothing. Calls things that are not as though they were. And turns stony hearts into hearts of flesh. It’s not your place to tell God what He can’t do. Your only job is to say, “yes Lord, with You all things are possible.”
3rd Decision:
Choose who you listen to: The Bible teaches us “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” To believe your marriage can be healed and “nothing is impossible for God,” then you must make wise decisions about who you’re listening to. You cannot, on one hand, try to believe what the Word says while on the other hand listen to the negative opinions of those who do not believe what you believe.
If you want to hold onto your faith in the midst of very trying circumstances you will have to Just Say No to Naysayers.
Thanks for reading this post. I hope this has encouraged you to believe for your marriage restoration. If you’d like, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Another excellent article! If both are willing, it still can be a hard road to recovery! Keep up what God has called you to.
I do believe with GOD all things are possible.i believe God is already working my marriage.after all marriage was born by GOD.and he does hate deviorce.God wants His childreen to marry and be happy not marri and be unhappy.GOD is listing all things for those who trust HIM.JUST LOVE god WITH ALL YOUR HEART MIND BODY AND SOUL.He will turn a closed hardened heart back to Him.it may not look like He is moving but the first i asked Him He heard my cry and came to me.
My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and married for almost 5 years. 2 weeks ago I found out he had been having an affair. After all the talks, he told me that he cared about me deeply and loved me, but that he wasn’t in love with me. That hurt me to my core! We decided to separate 4 days ago to give ourselves some time to heal. Including not contacting each other for a bit. It has been so hard! Although my husband has hurt me, I still love him and want to restore our marriage. This article has given me the faith to take steps towards that and to start a new relationship with God!
Amber,
Thank you for reading this post and for leaving this encouraging comment. It is always my hope that what I have written from my own experiences and from the message of hope God has given me to share, that others will be blessed by it.
Janet and I are praying for you and your husband. Please, do not hesitate to let us know if we can help.
May God’s peace and grace guide every step you take,
Jack
Kalenah,
Thank you for voicing your opinions. I disagree with your criticism of what I have written. But perhaps the point I was making was not made as clearly as I wanted to. We understand this ministry is not for everyone and we hope you continue to hold fast to your confession of faith.
Blessings to You!
This article was helpful to me… Having a hard time deciding what I should do as far as standing for my marriage goes. My husband and I have been back and forth (separated) for three years. Things haven’t changed and that may be my fault. We don’t have any boundaries. I’m scared to back away in fear of really losing him. Such a hard thing.
I am confused as to why an affair seems to question restoration in your article. Also, isn’t one of the spouses opposing reconciliation usually part of the battle? I completely get your article, I’ve read your testimony, but these points seem to contradict God’s power sometimes. It makes it seem as if the problem in the marriage was an affair and your spouse wants to separate than you may be the exception to God’s power to restore your marriage.
Dee,
I appreciate the feedback on this article. I certainly didn’t mean to be confusing with what I wrote and so I’m glad you pointed this out from a readers perspective. There was a paragraph that got off point for the purpose of this article, so I took it out. But as far as what I wrote about people having their own free will I left that point there. Because I think people need to know that it is still good to stand in faith in spite of their spouse’s free will. If my wife would have resisted God and if our marriage had not been restored I would still be happy with myself knowing at least I did my part.
Thank you, again
Hey Jack, another great article. I, too, find the “free will” comment to be confusing. If we have the power to over ride Gods will then He is but a god and not worthy of belief. That is not to say that we don’t have a free will or we would never have sinned, but that is to allow God to show His power. Our will is like a stream through His fingers, He makes it flow where HE wills. I look at examples throughout the scriptures of those who by their will when against God and He “changed” their mind. Nebuchadnezzar is a favorite, he found himself grazing with the livestock until he finally admitted he was but a man… or Jonah who ran the opposite direction and God brought him back to where He wanted him to be and Jonah grudgingly witnessed to the people, whom he hated and prayed for God to NOT show them mercy. Yet God did show them mercy and grace then turned Jonah’s heart back to Him.
This is a discussion I’ve been caught up in many times, but I will always side with trust the Father, He knows best, and don’t argue about the rest, lol.
Thank you again for following His lead.
Hi.. My husband left me and my son for 3 months already without any communications.. I came to him 4 times begging not to leave.. But He changed his phone numbers, he even blocked me in his facebook.. He is saying bad things about me in his workplace.. He is now with someone who also has her own family.. They are having an affair but they are saying they are just friends.. My husband made his family believe that I have bad attitude that’s why he left me.. And now his family is tolerating him with what he is doing.. I don’t know why they are doing that to me.. He and his family bragging about me.. I don’t know, most of the time I cannot really understand why they are doing that.. I just remain silent.. Praying that God would turn my situation to a better one.. I still do not want to do anything against my husband as I am hopeful for the restoration of our marriage especially for the sake of our son.. I do believe that God’s will is to restore my marriage.. And I look forward to that.. That God would turn my husband’s hard heart into a heart of flesh.. And one day he would come to us asking for forgiveness and be willing to be reconciled and fix our marriage.. Please do include us in your prayers.. Thank you so much.. Your posts are helping me getting through this really tough situation..
This article outlines exactly what I have been going through. Faced with my wife asking me to leave and wanting a divorce, my only recourse was to run to my Lord. I feel as though there was no one in my life I could ask for help other than He. She says she has no desire for reconciliation, no desire work on the marriage, no desire to remain married to me. All I can do is work on myself and bring myself and my children closer to God as we are going through these times. All I can ask my friends for are their prayers.
I did everything wrong in the beginning, I begged and pleaded. Was angry!!!! However I completely believed God was going to restore us. Now I am not so sure…my faith is wavering. d-day was about 2-weeks before Christmas 2015. He has lived over 1000 miles away for over a year. He denies having an affair to which he is still involved in. He has seen our son 10 whole days in a 15 month time span and has said on several occasions to take care of him as if he is never seeing him again. He doesn’t call him and has no desire to be in his life. Things have only gotten worse and there is zero remorse for what he has done. I was not a perfect wife and I know that. I at times feel like I have forgiven him just to realize that I really haven’t. I read the Bible everyday, go to church and Sunday school, tithe, and listen to sermons on my commute to and from work and clearly the problem lies with me because I honestly believed that God was going to restore us. He has not yet and there is no sign of change on his part. No sign of remorse. No sign of communication. Nothing!!!!! He is not a christian and I have prayed for his salvation, her salvation, and her sons heart every day and night for over a year now. I cry out to God and ask where am I falling short? What is that I am not doing? I still do not hear him. it seems the harder I try to feel gods love and hear his voice the farther away he goes. I know he has not forsaken me and I know he loves me but I feel left, alone, unworthy, and unloved and my emotions have exhausted me this week to the point that I am ready to give up. I do not believe I have what it takes to stick this out. I am weak, I second guess every decision I make about every single thing and my mind continually tells me I am not good enough for him or anyone else. I feel selfish for even wanting to restore this marriage if he is unhappy why should I want him to continue to be unhappy. I believe that God can do anything he wants to do but I at this moment do not believe that he wants to restore my marriage. God has been completely faithful to me and on many occasions in the past year has answered me about many things to the point that I was absolutely certain it was him who did it. So I am unclear as why I am so confused on his will for my marriage. I have asked him to bring someone into my life to speak to me about this so I am clear, someone other than my family….no one is on board with restoration everyone has made it clear they believe he is never coming back. To me this would be a huge Glory to God because there are so many that do not believe it will happen. I struggle to see what else will glorify him in this situation. i am just doubting Thomas right now and in dire need of Gods mercy. Prayers from all would be much appreciated.
My life my faith my hope continues to be in Christ. I am praying for you your marriages and God’s will His power and promise of “Draw nigh unto Me and I’ll draw nigh unto thee”. He is faithful. Trust wait and be dedicated to by Him and He will guide reveal and bind up each broken heart. Pray for me and my family. My wife and my daughter who is four.
Thankful for this ministry and the transparency.
Michael
Thank you for sharing. I am going through a very difficult time. I want my marriage to work, he doesn’t. I am a believer, he is not. I have shared many of your articles on saving marriages to my husband . All of them gave me hope, I have faith and won’t give up. It’s all in God’s hands now. Please keep sending me messages from God. Thank you, Theresa