Anytime your marriage is in trouble it’s easy to get discouraged. It’s easy to get down on yourself and let regret and fear overtake you. But for your marriage to overcome this trial you have to take a stand against discouragement. For you to take that stand I want to share with you some thoughts on why and how you should encourage yourself.
I remember when I was a young boy in school just learning to read. One of my favorite books was “The Little Engine That Could.” Though I don’t remember the full story, I still remember it was about a little engine pulling a train up a steep hill and how he kept repeating the words, “I think I can, I think I can.” Those words were what the little engine needed to encourage himself to climb that hill.
Sometimes saying words like “I can do this” are all it takes for us to encourage ourselves. But I want to share some truths that go much deeper than repeating a good self-help mantra. First, on this post, I will share my thoughts on why you should encourage yourself. And then on my next post, I will give you some tips on how to encourage yourself.
Why encourage yourself
You are God’s treasure.
Our heavenly Father loves you with such an incredible love. You may know that already. But did you know that He not only loves you, He also likes you? He created you to be the unique individual you are. And like He did when He created Adam. When God created you He stepped back and said “very good.” Think about that. God is pleased with Himself for creating you. If I could say it like this, He is crazy about you. He loves spending time with you and loves doing life with you.
It’s up to you.
You are the one who has to do something about this. You can’t afford to always depend on others to encourage you. Besides, even when someone else does try to encourage you it’s up to you how you receive it. Even God is limited in how much He can encourage you when you have the choice on how you react to it. So you have to say, “the buck stops here” and be like King David who encouraged himself whenever he needed it.
If you don’t, you’re being robbed.
Discouragement, regret, depression, and fear are all thieves. They rob you of everything you have and leave you feeling victimized. When you’re feeling like a helpless victim of your circumstance you are robbed of the power to do anything about it. When you encourage yourself you are taking your power back. You are taking a stand that says no matter what you will survive this. With the Lord’s help, you will overcome anything life throws at you.
Clear vision is needed.
The sadness you’re feeling has a way of clouding your view. You know you have to keep going. You know you have to take steps forward, but the pain that clouds your view causes you to stand still. Encouraging yourself will open your eyes to how the Lord wants to guide you forward.
You don’t want to miss opportunities.
Hopeless feelings cause you to give up too soon when breakthrough can be just around the corner. And when small opportunities come that could help you overcome your marriage struggles, you don’t want to miss them by letting discouragement distract you. So encourage yourself so you will endure and stay alerted to always giving your best.
Other people need you.
When you’re in a marriage crisis it’s hard to be there for the other people in your life. Your friends and extended family may not be asking for anything from you. Hopefully, they’re there for you and giving you support. But if you have children who depend on you, they need you to be your best. Chances are they’re going through this trial as well and when you get down and discouraged it’s easy to overlook what they need from you.
Wherever you go and whatever you do you bring something valuable to other people. You are important. If you encourage yourself you will be able to give the best you that you can possibly give to others. I’m not talking about you losing yourself or about you not dealing with what you need to deal with by being busy taking care of other people. I’m just saying when you’re giving to others why not give your best.
An encouraged you is the most attractive you.
The law of attraction works like two magnets. When we turn one way we attract others. When we turn the other way we repel others. The depression that comes with discouragement is one of those things that tend to push people away from you. Unless they are moved with empathy and a genuine desire to help you. But when you encourage yourself you tend to stand taller and your face gets brighter. You get back to being the real you, the one that causes others around you to enjoy being in your presence.
For now, those are my thoughts on why you should encourage yourself. I hope you’ll give these reasons some thought. And I hope they help.
If you would like to add your own reasons why, please do so in the comments. I’m sure what you have to add will help someone else.
Next week, I can’t wait to share some practical ideas on how you can do this.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
