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Why Marriage Restoration Should Not Be Your First Priority

I want to get this straight right from the start. I agree, your marriage is important. And if your marriage is in trouble that means your marriage restoration is a high priority in your life. But I do not believe your marriage restoration should be your first priority.  

first priority

I understand what you’re going through. The heartache and confusion of a marriage crisis are the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with. But, when I talk about your marriage crisis I have to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Your marriage restoration should not be your first priority.

Jesus has to be your first priority

I once heard a story of a lady who asked for prayer for her marriage. She had listened to a minister’s message and afterward she came forward and asked him to pray for her. Her marriage was in trouble and she was needing a breakthrough.

The situation was so heavy on her heart she could think of no greater need in her life. She just had to have someone pray with her about it. But, the minister was stunned when she came through the prayer line and told him her request.

She said, “I’m not saved like you but I want you to pray for my marriage.”

Trying to make sure he heard her right, the minister said, “let me get this straight. You are not saved but you want me to pray for your marriage?”

“Yes,” she replied.

He said, “Lady I don’t mean to be rude. I know your marriage is important. But don’t you know you should be more concerned about salvation? Because once you are living in eternity without God your marriage is going to mean nothing. I’ll be glad to pray for your marriage. But I believe we need to get you saved first.”

At which point she said, “you know. I think you’re right. I do need to get saved.”

So he prayed with her to receive Jesus as her savior and then he prayed with her about her marriage.

A similar story with an uncertain ending

Just the other day we received a message on our Facebook page. A young man was feeling devastated and overwhelmed with his marriage crisis. When I responded to him we discussed what was going on.

Then our conversation reached an impasse. I asked him about his relationship with Jesus. And as it turns out he was not a believer and he was not interested in my beliefs. He said he was a “free thinker.”

Still, he continued to ask me what he could do about his marriage. My answer again brought us back to his relationship with the Lord. Which at that point, he said he would consider what was saying and he thanked me for my time.

But, I had 2 reasons I wanted to talk to him about the Lord. First of all, the salvation of his soul is far more important than his marriage.  Then, I wanted to tell him how knowing the Lord would be the best thing he could do for restoring his marriage.

If you who are facing trouble in your marriage, I want to help. I want to point out how your relationship with Jesus should be your first priority. How He will help you deal with your marriage crisis. And how I believe this will put you in the best position for restoration.

Life is better when Jesus is our first priority

  • Eternal perspective. ~ When we accept Jesus into our lives, He changes our perspective. The Bible teaches us the difference between what is eternal and what is temporary. This life we live here on Earth is temporary. Our life with Jesus is eternal. So, all the trouble we deal with here on Earth is just temporary. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, Galatians 6:8, 1 Peter 5:10
  • Hopeful. ~ Through this relationship with Jesus, we gain a supernatural hope. I call it supernatural because it is a hope that doesn’t depend on natural circumstances. Our hope is in a supernatural God that is bigger than all our problems put together. Psalm 31:24, Psalm 42:5, Romans 15:13, Hebrews 10:23
  • Thankfulness. ~ Once we receive salvation we begin to appreciate everything He has done for us. And we are thankful in advance for everything that is yet to happen in our lives. We no longer have to see our lives through a “glass half empty,” pessimistic perspective. We can be grateful and as a result happy for the life He has given us. 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Colossians 3:16, Ephesians 5:20, Colossians 3:17, Colossians 4:2
  • Guide. ~ When our hope is in a supernatural God, it only makes sense that we allow Him to guide us. We may feel we’re lost in the dark on our own. But He has promised we will never be alone. He is always with us and He is never lost or in the dark. Luke 1:79, John 14:26, John 16:13, Revelation 7:17
  • Peace. ~ With our relationship with the Lord we can have peace that surpasses our ability to understand. Troubled times will try to bring fear into our lives. And with that fear we start to panic and feel desperate to get out as soon as possible. But His peace will remove our panic and desperation. His peace assures us that we will make it through the storm. John 14:27, John 16:33, Romans 8:6, Romans 14:17, Philippians 4:6-7
  • Comfort. ~ When tough times hit and we have grief and sorrow to deal with, we can always count on Him to bring us comfort. We don’t have to fall for some temporary fix. Something that only soothes our pain on the surface and then leads us into some destructive habit. His comfort is a lasting comfort. Because He reaches into the most inner part of our being and lets us know how much He loves us. Psalm 23:4, Matthew 5:4, John 16:20-22, 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
  • Empowerment. ~ No matter what crisis we are in we have to move forward. We can’t afford to go backward and we can’t afford to be stuck. So, thank God our relationship with Christ empowers us to overcome our obstacles. Through Him, we are more than conquerors. We have victory in every battle. Because at the end of the day, no matter what else happens, with His help we will not let the enemy take us down.  Romans 8:37, Romans 12:21, 1 Corinthians 15:57, 1 John 4:4

These are just a few of the reasons Jesus should be your first priority when facing a crisis. As well as when you’re not in some sort of crisis. The point is, whether you’re in a good place in life or a bad place, Jesus will always make your life better.


If you need help with accepting Jesus as your Saviour, please let us know. Or, at least reach out to someone who is able to help you and pray with you.

As always, we invite you to add to this conversation.

Is there anything you would like to add to this list?


Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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