I wrote an article awhile back called Why Marriage Restoration Should Not Be Your First Priority. I wrote that to express how knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior is far more important than overcoming marriage trouble. Because a few times I have dealt with someone wanting help to save their marriage. While at the same time they had no interest in knowing Jesus or allowing Jesus to help them. For them, their marriage restoration was more important than a relationship with God.
Then, recently I heard from a man who has been struggling to restore his marriage. He told me about his prayers and how he has been seeking God for answers. He said God has given him peace even though his situation hasn’t improved. And then he told me how someone else has accused him of putting his marriage first, instead of his relationship with God.
So, one of the things I answered back to him was that I disagreed with what this other person said. From the way he described what he has been doing I don’t believe he has put his marriage ahead of God. To me the opposite is true. This man has been putting his relationship with God first. Because he is allowing God to be his source of strength during his time of trouble. He is putting God first by trusting in the Lord for his answers. He is following what God’s word teaches us to do in this verse.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”
Could someone be so focused on their marriage restoration they seem obsessed with it? Sure. It may appear that way.
I’m sure there were some who thought that about me when I was going through that. My marriage crisis made it difficult for me to even do my job. Thank God I had a good employer who gave me grace during that time. I was a wreck. My whole life seemed to be on hold. My marriage crisis was on my mind 24/7. But I never once felt like I was neglecting my relationship with God because I was focused on my marriage.
When someone is facing a serious crisis, what are they supposed to do? Should they be oblivious to their situation and keep their full attention on God the whole time?
If a fireman asks God for help while he focuses on saving a burning home, does that make the home more important than his relationship with God?
When a lifeguard asks for God’s help while they rescue a person from drowning, does that make the drowning person a higher priority?
If a doctor is focusing on performing a surgery and he asked God to help, is he making the surgery more important than his relationship with God?
A relationship with God means a lot
Don’t get me wrong. I love to spend time with God. I love worshiping Him with the songs I sing. Reading His word and allowing His word to help me live a better life is important for me. I love to meditate on the goodness of the Lord and how blessed I am to have Him in my life. And I love to take time for prayer and seeking to hear what the Lord has to say to me.
My one on one time with God means a lot to me. I know I need that time to help me stay grounded in His truth. I need that time to keep me from becoming overwhelmed with the challenges I face. But I don’t believe solitude time soaking in His presence is the full meaning of what it is to put God first in my life.
I know God loves me more than I could ever love Him in return. He loves me so much He wants to be involved in everything I’m doing. So, if I’m in a crisis He is right there with me, helping me get through it. If I’m focused on accomplishing something, He wants in on it. He wants to be my Helper every step of the way.
Independence from God is the problem
The thing is I believe the only time a person is in danger of putting their marriage restoration ahead of God is when we try to do it independently of Him.
The same is true in every area of our lives. When we’re building a strong marriage, pursuing a career, getting an education, or going through a season of crisis. We have to make sure we include God in on what we’re doing. God is never demanding all our attention. He just wants to partner with us in whatever we’re doing.
So if you ever feel guilty because you focus so much attention on your marriage restoration. I want to encourage you to let the shame and negative feelings of that go. The Lord knows how much this means to you. He knows you’re in a crisis and He wants you to know He loves you more than you could ever imagine. And He wants you to know He is in your life to help you.
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