Author: Jack and Janet

Do You Have Anyone Praying for You?

Is there anyone praying for you? When you’re going through the worst battle of your life, is there anyone who is helping you hold it together? When you’re seeking for some answers and you need to know the will of God. Who can you count on to take your situation before the Lord?

I mean it is great to have others around you who love you and are willing to give you advice. But what should matter the most is having people around you who are actually praying for you. Because at the end of the day, getting advice is good and is sometimes needed.

But there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone. Knowing there are other people who have your back. And they are faithfully sending out prayers to the Lord on your behalf.

It is one of those precious treasures that will stay with you for the rest of your life. When you look back at your most difficult days and you remember the ones who stood with you. The ones who were actually helping you make it because of the prayers they prayed.

Like right now as I write this, I’m choking back the tears as I think of someone who helped me. More than I can ever know, simply by bringing my life and marriage problem before God. My uncle Dan who passed away almost three years ago was that someone for me. I knew without a doubt he was praying for me throughout the marriage crisis I faced.

Many times I went to him to talk about what I was going through. I knew his advice and encouragement was sincere and unbiased. He was in his third marriage. And after two failed marriages, he was able to share from a deep well of experience and wisdom. Read more

When a Difficult Marriage is an Abusive Marriage

When the difficulty in the marriage is because of abusive behavior, personal safety must come before the marriage.

We love to encourage husbands and wives who struggle with difficult marriages. We believe commitment, hope, and perseverance go a long way in helping couples get past their difficult season. But when there’s abuse, we have to have a different conversation.

There is a serious issue of abuse that is facing far too many marriages today. This issue should never be ignored or overlooked, by the men and women who find themselves in an abusive relationship, nor by the rest of us who have a voice to speak out against it.

In this final post of this series on difficult marriage, I want to help men and women recognize when Difficult Marriage is an Abusive Marriage. Because, when this is the case, the approach to dealing with the marriage crisis must change.

Is Your Difficult Marriage Too Much to Bear

Sometimes a difficult marriage is so great all you think about is running away. You don’t want to give up on your marriage. But the burden you’re carrying is too much to bear.

Honestly, during the difficult times of my own marriage, there were many times I felt like giving up. Yes, I was committed for life and I did fight for my marriage when we were near divorce. But the truth is, it was very difficult and there were many times I wanted to give up.

But every time I wanted to give up, my commitment to the Lord wouldn’t let me. So eventually I submitted my desire to run to the Lord and He always gave me strength to press on. I never felt God strengthening me for some long-term journey that had no end in sight. No, it was always just enough to keep me pushing through the desire to quit. And it was through each one of those moments of testing that I would gain a little more than I had had before. Read more

When You Don’t Know How to Improve Your Difficult Marriage

You want to have the marriage you have always dreamed of. But now you find yourself in a difficult marriage without knowing how to improve it.

In our previous post, Why Do You Settle For a Difficult Marriage, I gave a challenge to anyone who felt stuck with no intention of doing anything about the condition of their marriage. I talked about how marriage was designed by God to be a place of “One Flesh” unity and that God esteems marriage in such high regard that He even chose marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.

As I mentioned in my challenge, “if marriage has been given the responsibility from God to represent what Christ’s relationship with us the Church should look like, shouldn’t we hold marriage to the same standard of honor and glory that God has already placed on it?”

But maybe you’re someone from my last post who answered yes to the question, “Are you in a marriage that could be better, but you just don’t know how to get there?” And so if this is you, I know you’re not looking for something that simply inspires you to do better. You are looking for some practical advice of what you can do. Read more

Why Would You Settle for a Difficult Marriage?

A difficult marriage is a hard thing to endure. The stress of bickering and division never seems to end. Even when there are moments of hope because love and peace are temporarily restored. That hope quickly fades as another day presents another challenge. Soon, husband and wife fall right back into their ruts of strife, anger, hurt, and confusion. And sadly too many men and women who have this type of marriage have no idea they don’t have to settle for it.

For 19 years I was willing to settle for a difficult marriage. For the most part I was always blind to how troubled my marriage was. I thought it was normal for couples to argue and have disagreements. So I thought what was going on in my marriage was just as normal as anyone else’s. I committed to marriage for life even if I didn’t like the condition of it. Read more

Is Your House Divided?

“If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” – Mark 3:25

Marriage is a wonderful gift from God. It’s the union of two unique individuals blending their lives together to become as the bible says, “one flesh.” This unity does not happen when husbands and wives become the same in every way possible. Couples establish and hold true unity in marriage by celebrating what they have in common. While at the same time learning to accept and embrace each other’s differences. Couples that strive to become “one flesh” know there is beauty and strength in both their similarities and in their differences.

But there is something seriously wrong when couples begin allowing their differences to create a divided home. Because when they accept and tolerate division in their relationship they open up the door for greater trouble in their marriage.

Is Your Heart Broken For The Right Reason?

Do you have a broken heart from the marriage crisis you’re dealing with? Does your world feel shattered and crumbling all around you? And does it make you question how much you can stand or how long can you endure? If your answers are yes, I know how you feel.

Because fighting to save a marriage is one of the toughest ordeals a person can ever experience. The heartache and pain can be so tormenting that it makes it hard to function in any other area of life. And there are times when the pain is so hard to bear. All a person can do is shut it off by staying busy with other areas of life. Either way it seems like life is just a blur and all you can do is try to survive it.

But I have another question for you. A question I believe can make a huge difference in how you get through this experience.

When You’re the Only One Trying to Improve Your Marriage

Can one person make a difference in their marriage even when their spouse is not trying? YES, they absolutely can! There is no question that even if only one spouse is trying, they alone can make a huge impact on their marriage. And if only one person is trying there is still tremendous hope for the marriage.

I know some might say, but, it takes two to make a marriage work. I know because I have heard someone say that to me before. And my reply was, “yeah, but it only takes one to quit.”

It is true, to make a marriage work the way God designed it to work it does take two. Both spouses work together becoming one.

But the question for some is, what good can one person do when they are the only one trying? Read more

5 Reasons Why Dating is So Important

Dating your spouse should be a high priority in your marriage. If you don’t want to neglect your marriage then don’t neglect to date your spouse. Too often couples only think of dating as something they do before marriage. But when they think that way they lose out on this valuable resource for reconnecting with their spouse. I know that’s the way it was in our experience.

This Valentine’s Day, Janet and I plan to go on a date for the evening. This will be our 40th Valentine’s date. It’s a little extra special because it’s also the anniversary of our first date. Although we do not plan to go to the drive-in movies again, we do plan to do something special.

But the truth is, we don’t just date on Valentine’s Day, our birthdays, or our wedding anniversary. No, we try to make dating a regular part of our life. We don’t go out to dinner once a week as some do, but we do go when we can.