Category: Help from the Lord

You Can Become Better or Bitter, the Choice is Yours

The challenges we face in life are tough sometimes. Challenges with our health, our job, our children, or our marriage are the type of challenges almost everyone will have to deal with at one point or another. But in every challenge, we face we have to make a conscious decision. Will we choose to let the situation make us better, or will we let it make us bitter?

I’ve seen the importance of this choice time after time. Not only in my own life, but also in the lives of many others. And every time a person allows themselves to become bitter there is always a severe price that comes with making the wrong choice. Let me share a few examples. Read more

Are You Trying to Change, or Are You Just Smoothing Things Over

Do you want to know the reason it took 4 times of almost getting a divorce before our marriage straighten out? Do you want to know what had to change before we could have the marriage we both wanted? The thing that had to change was I had to stop trying to just smooth things over.

There was a cycle we were going through and it was because of the things I kept doing wrong. Time after time I kept finding a way to undo all the previous good I did to fix our marriage. Each time after we reached our breaking point I would begin to do everything I could to become a better husband. I didn’t want our marriage to end so I tried to change and I thought I was making some serious progress. But in the end, all I was doing was going through my own cycle.

Do You Have Anyone Praying for You?

Is there anyone praying for you? When you’re going through the worst battle of your life, is there anyone who is helping you hold it together? When you’re seeking for some answers and you need to know the will of God. Who can you count on to take your situation before the Lord?

I mean it is great to have others around you who love you and are willing to give you advice. But what should matter the most is having people around you who are actually praying for you. Because at the end of the day, getting advice is good and is sometimes needed.

But there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone. Knowing there are other people who have your back. And they are faithfully sending out prayers to the Lord on your behalf.

It is one of those precious treasures that will stay with you for the rest of your life. When you look back at your most difficult days and you remember the ones who stood with you. The ones who were actually helping you make it because of the prayers they prayed.

Like right now as I write this, I’m choking back the tears as I think of someone who helped me. More than I can ever know, simply by bringing my life and marriage problem before God. My uncle Dan who passed away almost three years ago was that someone for me. I knew without a doubt he was praying for me throughout the marriage crisis I faced.

Many times I went to him to talk about what I was going through. I knew his advice and encouragement was sincere and unbiased. He was in his third marriage. And after two failed marriages, he was able to share from a deep well of experience and wisdom. Read more

Is Your Difficult Marriage Too Much to Bear

Sometimes a difficult marriage is so great all you think about is running away. You don’t want to give up on your marriage. But the burden you’re carrying is too much to bear.

Honestly, during the difficult times of my own marriage, there were many times I felt like giving up. Yes, I was committed for life and I did fight for my marriage when we were near divorce. But the truth is, it was very difficult and there were many times I wanted to give up.

But every time I wanted to give up, my commitment to the Lord wouldn’t let me. So eventually I submitted my desire to run to the Lord and He always gave me strength to press on. I never felt God strengthening me for some long-term journey that had no end in sight. No, it was always just enough to keep me pushing through the desire to quit. And it was through each one of those moments of testing that I would gain a little more than I had had before. Read more

When You Don’t Know How to Improve Your Difficult Marriage

You want to have the marriage you have always dreamed of. But now you find yourself in a difficult marriage without knowing how to improve it.

In our previous post, Why Do You Settle For a Difficult Marriage, I gave a challenge to anyone who felt stuck with no intention of doing anything about the condition of their marriage. I talked about how marriage was designed by God to be a place of “One Flesh” unity and that God esteems marriage in such high regard that He even chose marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.

As I mentioned in my challenge, “if marriage has been given the responsibility from God to represent what Christ’s relationship with us the Church should look like, shouldn’t we hold marriage to the same standard of honor and glory that God has already placed on it?”

But maybe you’re someone from my last post who answered yes to the question, “Are you in a marriage that could be better, but you just don’t know how to get there?” And so if this is you, I know you’re not looking for something that simply inspires you to do better. You are looking for some practical advice of what you can do. Read more

Why Would You Settle for a Difficult Marriage?

A difficult marriage is a hard thing to endure. The stress of bickering and division never seems to end. Even when there are moments of hope because love and peace are temporarily restored. That hope quickly fades as another day presents another challenge. Soon, husband and wife fall right back into their ruts of strife, anger, hurt, and confusion. And sadly too many men and women who have this type of marriage have no idea they don’t have to settle for it.

For 19 years I was willing to settle for a difficult marriage. For the most part I was always blind to how troubled my marriage was. I thought it was normal for couples to argue and have disagreements. So I thought what was going on in my marriage was just as normal as anyone else’s. I committed to marriage for life even if I didn’t like the condition of it. Read more

Oh God, I Can’t Do This On My Own

When I think of the countless men and women who are fighting to save their marriage, my heart breaks and my eyes fill with tears. I may not know who you are or exactly what your situation looks like. But I do know how it feels when you cry, “Oh God, I can’t do this on my own!”

The pain in your heart is deeper than words can convey and the waves of torment that flood your mind are too much to bear. You fight through rejection and confusion and there are times you simply want to give up, but you won’t. There are times when you want to cave into anger and bitterness, but you know you can’t. And then there are times when you just want to fall apart, but you don’t.

You fight, you stand, you hang on because you believe in your marriage. You love your spouse because you love your family. Losing your spouse and family is not what you signed up for and you now find yourself going through HELL trying to keep your world from falling apart.

Is Your Heart Broken For The Right Reason?

Do you have a broken heart from the marriage crisis you’re dealing with? Does your world feel shattered and crumbling all around you? And does it make you question how much you can stand or how long can you endure? If your answers are yes, I know how you feel.

Because fighting to save a marriage is one of the toughest ordeals a person can ever experience. The heartache and pain can be so tormenting that it makes it hard to function in any other area of life. And there are times when the pain is so hard to bear. All a person can do is shut it off by staying busy with other areas of life. Either way it seems like life is just a blur and all you can do is try to survive it.

But I have another question for you. A question I believe can make a huge difference in how you get through this experience.

Is Your Patience Running Thin?

For many years I struggled with patience and loving my wife. I could always say it and most of the time I felt it. But the challenge for me was knowing how to show it in a consistent way that made sense. Even when I thought I was showing love in one way. My other actions would contradict me and cause Janet to question if I really loved her or not.

The truth is my lack of patience and the love I said I had were in direct contradiction of each other. Because if I really loved her I would have also been patient with her. Read more