Tag: marriage problems

When You Don’t Know How to Improve Your Difficult Marriage

You want to have the marriage you have always dreamed of. But now you find yourself in a difficult marriage without knowing how to improve it.

In our previous post, Why Do You Settle For a Difficult Marriage, I gave a challenge to anyone who felt stuck with no intention of doing anything about the condition of their marriage. I talked about how marriage was designed by God to be a place of “One Flesh” unity and that God esteems marriage in such high regard that He even chose marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.

As I mentioned in my challenge, “if marriage has been given the responsibility from God to represent what Christ’s relationship with us the Church should look like, shouldn’t we hold marriage to the same standard of honor and glory that God has already placed on it?”

But maybe you’re someone from my last post who answered yes to the question, “Are you in a marriage that could be better, but you just don’t know how to get there?” And so if this is you, I know you’re not looking for something that simply inspires you to do better. You are looking for some practical advice of what you can do. Read more

Is Your House Divided?

“If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” – Mark 3:25

Marriage is a wonderful gift from God. It’s the union of two unique individuals blending their lives together to become as the bible says, “one flesh.” This unity does not happen when husbands and wives become the same in every way possible. Couples establish and hold true unity in marriage by celebrating what they have in common. While at the same time learning to accept and embrace each other’s differences. Couples that strive to become “one flesh” know there is beauty and strength in both their similarities and in their differences.

But there is something seriously wrong when couples begin allowing their differences to create a divided home. Because when they accept and tolerate division in their relationship they open up the door for greater trouble in their marriage.

Oh God, I Can’t Do This On My Own

When I think of the countless men and women who are fighting to save their marriage, my heart breaks and my eyes fill with tears. I may not know who you are or exactly what your situation looks like. But I do know how it feels when you cry, “Oh God, I can’t do this on my own!”

The pain in your heart is deeper than words can convey and the waves of torment that flood your mind are too much to bear. You fight through rejection and confusion and there are times you simply want to give up, but you won’t. There are times when you want to cave into anger and bitterness, but you know you can’t. And then there are times when you just want to fall apart, but you don’t.

You fight, you stand, you hang on because you believe in your marriage. You love your spouse because you love your family. Losing your spouse and family is not what you signed up for and you now find yourself going through HELL trying to keep your world from falling apart.

Should You Try to Save Your Marriage

There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and save your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.

I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.

Your story may be different than what I went through trying to save my marriage. But I still know the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further. Then the next minute your heart is alive with the hope of your future if you can just hang on.

Don’t Throw Your Marriage Away, Save It.

I’ll be the first to admit I have a problem deciding when to throw something away and when to save it. The struggle I have is when I look at something thinking I might throw it away, I then think to myself, “maybe if I throw it away now I will one day in the future wish I still had it.” Because what I’m really trying to decide is, has this lost its usefulness to me, or does it still have some form of value to me?

That’s the same problem I see a lot people have when it comes to their marriage. They are trying to decide if their marriage has lost its usefulness to them or not. If they determine that it no longer has the value that it once did, such as “makes me happy,” “fulfills me,” “completes me,” or “satisfies all my needs,” they are ready then to dispose of it.

Is Your Heart Broken For The Right Reason?

Do you have a broken heart from the marriage crisis you’re dealing with? Does your world feel shattered and crumbling all around you? And does it make you question how much you can stand or how long can you endure? If your answers are yes, I know how you feel.

Because fighting to save a marriage is one of the toughest ordeals a person can ever experience. The heartache and pain can be so tormenting that it makes it hard to function in any other area of life. And there are times when the pain is so hard to bear. All a person can do is shut it off by staying busy with other areas of life. Either way it seems like life is just a blur and all you can do is try to survive it.

But I have another question for you. A question I believe can make a huge difference in how you get through this experience.

Where Marriage Healing Begins

Your marriage is suffering and needs healing. The desperation you feel causes you to try everything you know to reconnect with your spouse. But for some reason your marriage continues to struggle. Are you missing something? What will it take to get the healing process going in your marriage?

The desperation I felt to save our marriage was tremendous. I waited so long for signs of hope and yet so many times my hopes were dashed. I had no problem accepting the fact that I had hurt our marriage. So all I could think of was trying to find some way to fix the problems I helped create. Read more

Do You Get Tired of Holding On?

Do you ever feel tired and want to give up? I know how you feel. You just don’t know if you can take it anymore. You wrestle with the desire to quit, but your belief in staying committed to your marriage keeps you holding on. The heartache, the tears, the weariness, sometimes feels like more than you can bear. And there are times when you don’t see any hope of things getting better. All you can think of is running away. I get it, I have been there too.

If I were going through what I went through before, one of my favorite songs would probably be. “Say Something (I’m Giving Up On You).” It’s one of those sad songs that captures the kind of heartache I used to feel. With tears blinding my eyes I would have been singing along with the lyrics. “You’re the one that I love and I’m saying goodbye.”

What Does a Good Marriage Look Like?

The desire for a good marriage is a strong desire for most people. I’m sure most people who are married or hope to be married want their marriage to be good. But how do you know if you have a good marriage if you’re not sure what a good one looks like?

Sure, you can look around and compare your marriage to other couples. If theirs appears good you will want to know if you can have what they have.

If you think their marriage is built on great friendship, then maybe that’s what you need to have. They could be good communicators. Maybe that’s your answer. If they are romantic and affectionate with each other, that could be what your marriage needs. Or if they report having a very satisfying sex life you could think that is your answer as well. All of these and so much more are great qualities to have. Read more